hello, again, hello

I haven’t posted here in forever but I am going to remedy that.  To be honest, I’ve been writing my thoughts down in my little Moleskine diary and focusing on freelance work to fill the tree hole with nuts for the winter.   I am more or less sorted for the cold.   Nice, new Alpaca scarf, ear muffs, leather gloves and fingerless wool gloves, my same old lined london fog trench which is impossibly warm and also stylish (or so i’m told).   I have a flask in the pocket that I will not likely use unless I’m marooned.  I’m off the drink.  it doesn’t mix with my meds and i found that out the hard way (not so hard, there’s always a kind soul to walk me home when i need to be reminded).   i went up to Albany to talk at St. Rose College  (the College of St. Rose?) which was really great.   Read a prepared a to z of writing wisdom (i’ve grokked some) and later, in an auditorium, a little from poseur and twee.   Apparently I forgot to spit out my gum.   I like reading with gum because of all those old Beatles clips where you see John Lennon singing and chewing gum.   if he can sing “Don’t let me Down” while chomping Juicy Fruit, I can read about Brooklyn and owls and flea markets (or the lower east side in the 90s) with a little orbit.   when someone said “spit out your gum,” i placed it in between the jacket and the first page of Twee (which I later gave to my ex girlfriend, so now she has my DNA and can probably cast a malicious spell on me, if she has not already).  She lives up there and was nice enough to come visit as was my old BK room mate Ron who is now a tenured professor there.   It was a good reading because I was sober.   End of story.    You cannot read drunk.  You cannot lecture to young, serious writing students drunk..   I feel like I am good at it now (that I don’t get drunk).   I used to for two reasons: shyness and nerves, maybe that’s the same reason.   But you have to gut it out especially if you have true shit to say.   I will post my A to Z (what is that thing called again, the fancy term for an alphabet) here at some point soon because it’s pretty hot.   I don’t know why I’m posting this Ce Ce Peniston song here except that it has been in my head all morning.   Nothing is happening to me right in front of my face.